Tips for the Off Season

So winter, thank god, is about half way done and I think now is the appropriate time to offer some helpful tips for off season bouldering this late spring and summer. These tips will ensure your send potential in the off season. First, if you see a wasp nest, be sure to slap it like that southern sandstone sloper. Better yet, try to get a toe hand match on that sucker because that extra hold was not there during the winter. Second, if you walk into the boulder field and see a boulder with vines all over the top, especially the three leaf kind, be sure to climb it anyway. The vines will give you the extra help you need send that project. Third, when you see a spider, make sure you eat it before it eats you. Fourth, when your climbing up the boulder and you get to a large in-cut horizontal, make sure there are no snakes in there by vigorously reaching your hand all the way in there and shaking it around. Your climbing partner will thank you... maybe. Fifth, don't use bug spray because the bears will smell it. Better yet, use horse shit because the constant slapping will keep your muscles limber and primed for the summer send. Also, if your having issues with that project you floated up in the winter then its not the tempts fault, its yours for sucking ass. Get out and climb fat ass. Happy New Year!