Oh Shit, here comes the new old people

Have not taken a crap in 3 days so I'm drinking prune juice. I might be the youngest person to ever buy prune juice. If you ever go to the juice section of your local grocery store you will find that it is located in the old people section. In fact, I think they should take all old people products and put them on a special isle so you don't have to maneuver around the carts that these old people just so conveniently leave in the middle of the isle. Even if these older people had a special isle I would still have to go there to get prune juice, like tonight, and almost knock over some poor liver spotted old man. I think the only reason why I have not taken a crap is because my asshole has been puckered so much this weekend out of the shear fear of climbing. My boyfriend would ask, "What is that noise?" when the rope would creak and I would "calmly" explain that it was my asshole getting tighter. By the way, this is by no means appropriate, but I like my new boyfriend a lot. He is very nice and does not kick and scream too much when I fart around him. It is simply magical.