T.S.

Oh, the snobs of the world rejoice! You have yet another one of you among yourselves! All I want is information and for some reason by seeking information I am going to ruin everyone else's good time. A good time that I, of course, cannot have. I swear to god if I ever meet this mother fucker I am going to give him such a tongue lashing that his jaw will break. I cannot believe the audacity of some people. And the funny thing about the whole situation is that there are maps all over the Internet of the area I want to know about. Too fucking bad it does not have the information I need on them and therefore I have to fucking go out of my way to ask a bunch of bitching fucking climbing snobs what I need to know. I am obsessed...please have mercy.

And the Projects say? 46

"Climb me stupid girl." I might have climbed the softest V5 at Rumbling Bald and at first I was thrilled (seeing as how it was my first V5 at Rumbling Bald and a V5 after a considerable amount of time away from climbing) but now it seems a little lack luster. There is something about the gimmes that just seem a little unfair due to the fact that your hopes get so high and then they are dashed to hell by some sandbagged V3. Who knows what fabulous thing Isarna will climb next? Stay tuned and don't climb my fucking projects.

Cigarettes

There have been a lot of habits that I have had to deal with, like, nail biting, socially drinking, caffeine, a former psychological addiction to marijuana, and cigarettes. Stinking, filthy, unhealthy cigarettes. Of course it does not seem so bad. Shit, its not like I got a raging head ache from not taking a bong rip like I do if I don't drink a cup of coffee. But cigarettes, are a whole other story, there is no satisfaction in smoking a cigarette. They do not get you high, they don't taste good, the end result is totally unsatisfying (unlike nail biting) and they make you smell funny. WTF

The Woods

Rocktown. Hunting Season. NO Bathrooms. What does this all mean? More than likely every hunter in La Fayette Georgia has seen me take a crap in a cat hole in the middle of the woods. Although, I looked all around to see if anyone was wearing the infamous hunter orange... I bet someone must have seen me take a dump and this, to some degree, bothers me. I think next time I will take a big poster board with a message that says, "DO NOT WATCH ME TAKE A CRAP PLEASE." I will hold this message up in the air like those t&as do around the boxing ring except this sign will have strands of toilet paper flying from the edges and I will also be wearing more clothing and hiking boots. Perhaps this will allow me to have some privacy or could garner attention... pooping in the woods is hard work.

Fuck...

Please do not let me be forever cursed by my stupid ass mistakes. I am not totally positive I deserve it.

A Crux of a Situation

What do you do when you have nothing in common with someone you care about? How do you go about dealing with the fact that this person is basically not on the same page? You ask them, when was the last time they went to an art gallery or read a new essay on string theory and they have nothing to say. You probe further and ask if they have ever sat in on a book club with Charles Taylor's wife and well, they have nothing to say. You even go as far as asking if they have any thoughts on the pro and cons of the daisy chain and they have nothing to say. You cannot even talk about gardening. What is going on with family today if you cannot talk about plants? I simply do not understand and it does not make matters any better when they are so hell bent on putting you down hurtfully and purposely because of their insecurities. I do not understand how they can lavish such praise on trash when a broader world, that is full of art, literature, news, and stunning people, is calling. Perhaps it is my age or hopefully, it is a matter of awaking from a frightful slumber.

Good God

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDmJZ2aEMr4&eurl=http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=55259351&page=1&feature=player_embedded

Video Tips

Climbing videos basically suck for the most part (except King Lines & The Sharp End... Mr. Sharma has won me over) but here are some tips to make your next video awesome. 1. Pick out some music that is so phenomenal, no one could possibly wish to mute said music, like some mainstream hip pop. Better yet prevent viewers from muting your music tastes. 2. If your climbing something, be sure not to look scared and if in the event you are terrified, make sure to smile like some sort of demented clown, it will hide your fear. 3. After a difficult move, stop, look at the camera, and give a thumbs up. This is a simple means of telling viewers that you are a bad ass. 4. Also, ALWAYS climb wearing as few clothes as possible so everyone can see your rippling muscles. This is very important because SEX SELLS even if your climbing a V0, no one will notice. 5. Finally, when you send a tough project, flash your hands at the camera so everyone can see how tore up they are and then viewers will know you are such a hard ass for climbing on bloody, raw, and wounded hands. And tell the viewers that you really felt you were one the rock and make sure to drop a couple of names of a few big time climbers. Also, don't forget to tell everyone that the climb was "totally rad" or "mad sick". These tips will make your next climbing video get so many hits on You Tube, the feds might even set up a task force.

Good Medicine or Real life Discovery Channel

Have you ever seen a snake slithering up a tree into a nest? It is strange when you hear the chirping stop and yet there is still noise all around, as though, those baby birds where never there or never mattered. What is it about the tragedies that occur everyday that make them so easy to ignore? For example, what about the Gaza massacres... it seems the only people that pay any attention to such matters are the oil companies, hence the rise in gas prices. But I can easily ignore the fact that on the other side of the world there are children, mothers, fathers, family, bleeding to death in the streets because the hospitals are not out fitted for those particular emergency conditions. What a New Year, right? Thank you ignorance because if your smart, at least part of the time, you realize that it is all about options. Options come in all sizes and best of all you don't have to choose all of them at once time. I know this makes no sense and I have no way of tying that snake thing back into this story but here goes...even though those birds had no idea what was going on, you can bet your ass that the snake had a plan the whole time. So you have to ask yourself, are you the bird or the snake?

Dearest Crescent

You make everyone nervous at first. You look down at everyone and it makes many feel very intimidated but for those that are not, over confidence can led to bruised heels, broken arms, sprained wrists, shattered ankles, and even blood blisters. The fact is, you are a beautiful boulder and your lines are so clean and powerful I could not help but to stare every time I walked by you for these past two years. Today, dare I say, I fondled your flakes and gorged my flesh on your crevices. I even threw a heel in there for good measure. Of course I became a little over vigorous and my belt buckle got stuck but with all said in and done I am very thankful for many many crash pads.

2009

Sagittarius Outlook for 2009 11/22 – 12/21 Year 2009 Overview You tend to attract just about everything you want this year through your warmth and magnetic Sagittarian That said, you may also go through some great transformational shifts in 2009 as you realize that your happiness no longer depends so much on possessions, but rather on the deeper meaning associated with things symbolic of love and sharing. Instead of controlling what's happening around you, you now have experiences that perhaps you don't understand, but in allowing new insights to come in and have a voice, the rearranging of your resources and your values gives you a sense of security and growth. By surrendering to your higher power, you realize you don't have to struggle as much to get what you want. As you open up to the ideas and energies flowing around you, your priorities shift dramatically. And -- you'll be happy to know -- you don't need to work as hard to enjoy sensual pleasures either! Great opportunities arise as your explore your potential, and discover what kind of environment best serves you in your endeavors. Being in touch with this part of yourself helps you align with your higher purpose, and your drive to continue will lead to great success. Life becomes much easier when you trust that the universe will take care of you. Year 2009 Career You're fascinated by just about everything that happens in 2009, and you'll be inspired to pursue all the opportunities that come your way. Writing and other forms of communication are a great way to put your higher ideals and dreams into motion. Writing about your success in overcoming obstacles could be of great benefit to the world. The exchange of ideas brings balance and harmony into your work. Trusting that everything is in divine order will help bring you great success and comfort in your career. As long as you are in tune with your own personal energy, and respect the ebb and flow of life, you are able to recharge and realign yourself to the new work possibilities on the horizon. Come springtime, you will discover new creative outlets and reach new mastery in your work as you connect with a higher purpose. You feel competent in all aspects of your job, and by autumn you feel financially secure as you are tear down the old and rebuild the new. Endurance is yours, and it will be easy for you to actualize positive results and maintain high integrity. Be mindful to honor all that you have done.

Tips for the Off Season

So winter, thank god, is about half way done and I think now is the appropriate time to offer some helpful tips for off season bouldering this late spring and summer. These tips will ensure your send potential in the off season. First, if you see a wasp nest, be sure to slap it like that southern sandstone sloper. Better yet, try to get a toe hand match on that sucker because that extra hold was not there during the winter. Second, if you walk into the boulder field and see a boulder with vines all over the top, especially the three leaf kind, be sure to climb it anyway. The vines will give you the extra help you need send that project. Third, when you see a spider, make sure you eat it before it eats you. Fourth, when your climbing up the boulder and you get to a large in-cut horizontal, make sure there are no snakes in there by vigorously reaching your hand all the way in there and shaking it around. Your climbing partner will thank you... maybe. Fifth, don't use bug spray because the bears will smell it. Better yet, use horse shit because the constant slapping will keep your muscles limber and primed for the summer send. Also, if your having issues with that project you floated up in the winter then its not the tempts fault, its yours for sucking ass. Get out and climb fat ass. Happy New Year!

Alas

Readers. Sorry I am so boring and lack so much imagination that I cannot tell you the story of the first flying reindeer. Instead, I have come up with another idea that is nothing close to the Christmas spirit. The Story of the Great Mother and the Trick She Played One freezing day, the Great Mother was out walking on the big water when she noticed the Dark Lord and the Great Spirit fighting over an extravagant elk fur. The Great Mother was so tired of these two interfering in the lives of the moral and immortal creatures, herself included, that she decided to put them in their place. She quickly devised a plan and boldly walked up to the fighting pair. Once the Dark Lord and the Great Spirit beheld her beauty, she slyly said that her need was great and her passion like fire so one of them by his self could not possibly satisfy her but together there was great potential. (The Great Mother was well aware of the lust the Dark Lord and the Great Spirit shared for her.) Stroking the elk fur, the Great Mother invited them both to a cave on a high mountain pass that was far above the valley floor. With those words, she slung the elk fur around her shoulders and flew as fast as she could up to the before mentioned cave. As she entered the cave she looked back to see the Dark Lord and the Great Spirit close behind her and right when she entered the darkness she turned into a moth and flew out of the cave right when the Dark Lord and the Great Spirit tumbled in the opening. Little did the lust stricken pair know that the cave belonged to that of a large Yettie and so therefore they did not notice the smell. The Dark Lord and Great Spirit began their copulation rituals with what they thought was the lovely elk fur clad Great Mother but soon they discovered they where greatly mistaken. The Yettie awoke from his nap and was so enraged by the liberties the pair had taken that the Yettie grabbed them both by their ass hairs and threw them so far out of the cave that they landed far from where their misadventure began. Later, they both swore they heard a wicked laughter for days after the incident.

Ah HA!

Page last updated at 10:57 GMT, Friday, 19 December 2008 http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/south_yorkshire/7791427.stm Man's £5 debt repaid 39 years on Mr Webb said he would give the £200 to charity...... A Sheffield man who lent a penniless Australian tourist £5 to pay for a ferry trip in 1969 has been repaid his debt nearly 40 years later. While Jim Webb was out, a card and £200 was hand delivered to his home by Gary Fenton, to repay the money he borrowed when they met in Ostend, Belgium. A note inside read: "To Jim Webb, a good man. From Gary Fenton, a tardy payer of debts." Mr Webb, 72, has appealed for Mr Fenton to get back in touch. .. Mr Webb and a friend were travelling around Europe in April 1969 when they met the Australian traveller, then in his early 20s, at a ferry port in Ostend. He said: "A young man came up to us and said he hadn't got enough money to get back to England and would we lend him £5 and he'd repay us as soon as he could afford it." The three men travelled back to England and when they parted Mr Fenton took Mr Webb's address, but he never heard from him. .. .. In this day and age promises are made and promises are broken and you lose your faith in human nature Jim Webb.... Then on Sunday, he returned to his home in Bradway to find the surprise card. Mr Webb said: "I was quite emotional when I read it. In this day and age promises are made and promises are broken and you lose your faith in human nature. "This was a lovely gesture. Forty years is a long time - it must have been preying on his mind that he hadn't repaid his debt. "He said he was giving me £200 as that was £5 for every year that had gone by." Mr Webb said the card explained how Mr Fenton, who now lived in Sydney, had come across his address while looking through some old papers. His note said he had decided to pay him a visit and repay his debt while on a trip to London. Mr Webb, who is giving the £200 to charity, said: "He didn't leave an address or telephone number, just an email address which I have tried but so far I haven't heard back. "I am very sorry I was not in on Sunday... he would have been very welcome here. Hopefully we will be able to make contact, it would be wonderful to meet up again."

And YOU Are?

To some the world has been held hostage by tyrants and terrorists but all the while the rooster still crows and the cows still produce milk. It might not be 100% organic but the cow more than likely does not give a shit. The wind still blows and although it is filled with second hand smoke, gas fumes, and particulates; the trees do not care. The ocean still rises and falls even though there are dead bodies, pollutants, and poisons floating around. My point being, fear and hate are enough to scare some people into a mouse-like state of being and sometimes those things are enough to drive people, even people you love, to do some terrible things but those actions are not the only happenings in the universe. In fact, I have an excellent personal example of just such an occurrence. I know someone I really love but they are so stricken with jealousy (due to their fear of being insignificant) that they go out of their way to attain every material thing I have ever wanted. Now I will not try to fool you… I like material things and shiny new stuff but I am not obsessed with it, like I used to be and at one time this made me really upset. I thought, how could someone that is supposed to love me be so callous and so selfish??? But now I understand. I have all the things that they will never have and cannot buy. I am young and sometimes down right attractive. I have a good sense of humor and I am, to say the least, fucking intelligent and not just in a book smart way either. I am motivated and have a strong sense of self. I am Isarna. Well, you get the point. The fact is, just because this loved one ran out and bought everything they can barely afford because I desired it, does not make them successful or better than me, it just makes them petty and it is sad. This loved one also has grandiose ideas that their offspring is going to become something more than just a landscaper because they want so desperately to believe that they will be apart of something big but they are just setting themselves up for failure and it is ashame because you just want to grab them by the head and say, “you’re the only person who can make YOU happy.” Sometimes we may question why are people so fucked up, why they are so selfish, and what makes them act the way they do but all ridiculous actions come from the same place, fear. Perhaps, it is nature deficiency or simply the inability of certain types of people to step back and see what is really going on around them. It is going to rain… I should find my umbrella.

Most of the time they just steal my sunglasses

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=48165394

What is Mine is NOT Yours

I know you did it... put chalk on my project. I know you think everyone should get a turn and there is some sort of fairness when it comes to the boulders but you are wrong when I am involved. Perhaps you think it will impress me if you go up to my project and flash it like so many have before you but you are once again wrong. Now I understand that you need a few cheerleaders around to encourage you so you bring up some dumb broads that don't climb to cheer you on and that's ok with me. Some girls even though they are stupid are pretty cool but don't drag them down to my project, flash it in front of them (because you climbed it over 15 times), and then stand around and watch me. Like you are trying to prove something to them. Sorry I am not drooling all over you but my boyfriend is way sexier than you and he is most definitely a better climber. (He is also super nice and makes me coffee but that is beside the point.) The fact is once I declare something a project, it is mine and in order to assure this possession of something that cannot be owned, I peed on it, so there.

Ode to the Sandbagger

Main Entry: 2sandbag Function: verb Date: 1860 transitive verb 1: to bank, stop up, or weight with sandbags2 a: to hit or stun with or as if with a sandbag b: to treat unfairly or harshly c: to coerce by crude means sandbagging the government — C. W. Ferguson> d: to conceal or misrepresent one's true position, potential, or intent especially in order to take advantage ofintransitive verb: to hide the truth about oneself so as to gain an advantage over another — sand·bag·ger noun (Source: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sandbagger 12 December 2008) Have some honor. It is embarrassing to hear what people say about you. You accomplish nothing by this and only bring shame to us all. It is one thing to downgrade a climb, or to sandbag it, but to be deceptive about your abilities in order to win, although nothing new, is disgusting. How selfish it is to hog the limelight because your pathetic prissy ass ego cannot handle defeat. Like I said I am not the first person to see this, in fact it is common knowledge. Also, if a problem was graded a V5 and no holds broke off or were somehow added, then it is still a fucking V5. We all know it.

Funny

http://www.hulu.com/watch/40968/saturday-night-live-digital-short-ras-trent

Pretend

Pretend that we are dearest friends, that we would risk our own for each other. Share our successes and hold true to our words. Promises may go unfulfilled but not forgotten. It is obvious. There is little to remember.