The Story of Cloud Foot, Falling Leaf, and Weeping Creek

Once there lived a tribe in a valley, not far away from a place called HorsePens. This tribe was led by a brave and cunning warrior by the name of Weeping Creek. Weeping Creek was concerned about the well being of his tribe and went to consult the Reader of the Sky to see how successful the next harvest would be in the coming season. The Reader cast her eyes upon the deepest pool in the river and watched the moon's reflection rise and fall. The Reader of the Sky saw great famine in the land and civil war among the elders but there was one solution to the coming crisis. Weeping Creek watched the Reader for many days until the moon returned to the land and the oracle told of the necessity for war. The oracle advised Weeping Creek to gather his warriors and lay siege to the rocks of Horse Pens for the Gods would look upon the act favorably and prevent any harm befalling the tribe. Unfortunately, the rocks of Horse Pens were controlled by a fierce tribe under the leadership of Falling Leaf, a brave and bloodthirsty warrior. Weeping Creek was concerned and being the careful leader he was, he decided to capture a deer and paint himself and his fellow warriors with the blood directly from the deer's heart in order to help the Gods recognize his tribe in the heat of battle. Weeping Creek and his tribe traveled in the dark of night until the sun rose upon rocks of Horse Pens and there the battle began. Both sides fought with valour and on quiet feet but Weeping Creek began to notice that his warriors were beginning to fall and his bravest fighters were showing signs of injury. Before Weeping Creek could begin to doubt the gods he became overwhelmed with an idea. Weeping Creek knew Falling Leaf's tribe kept their horses locked in a wooded pen on the far side of the rocks so he quickly ran to the area with the younger warriors, released the horses and then scared them into the battle. Within this herd of horses was Falling Leaf's favorite horse, Cloud Foot. Cloud Foot was very much like a brother to Falling Leaf and was a gift to him from the Great Father himself. But with the heat of battle burning and the horses running through the lines of fire, Falling Leaf was unable to fight with all of his force because of his love for Cloud Foot and to Falling Leaf's dismay, Cloud Foot was fatally wounded by an arrow before his eyes. Falling Leaf was forced to have mercy on his brother Cloud Foot. Falling Leaf was so emotionally wounded by killing his beloved friend that at that moment, Falling Leaf took his own life by impelling himself on the handle of his own tomahawk. Weeping Creek's campaign was successful and the harvest was one of unknown bounty but few members of his tribe dare enter the Rocks of Horse Pens around the new moon because of the spirits of Falling Leaf and Cloud Foot that still roam there. To this day you can still hear the war call of Falling Leaf and the hoof falls of the great horse Cloud Foot.

Space is my curse

Need another place to live. No luck.

The Classic Overhang

Today. Rumbling Bald was opened. The Classic Overhand V3... Picture the last crimps up top and then me falling right smack on my face on a pile of crash pads. Bullshit. Most of the people left after that little exploitation by gravity because it freaked everyone out, except for me. I got back up and tried again but was once again rejected. Such bullshit. Bouldering is hard.

Sloper Fest

I have decided to go to SloperFest 2009 and climb some contrived, sandbagged, and challenging boulders. Did I mention that it would also be in front of a bunch of strangers? So in preparation for this 'landmark' event I have decided to start mission FISH or the Fucking, ICan, Swimming, and Hitting stuff Method. Oh yeah, if someone wants to come with me and help make fun of me, I would love the company. Serious.

House-sitting and Paranoia

I am house-sitting for a nice lady and her husband. They own a heart shaped hot tub, three horses, two dogs, and a cat. Their house is big and has nice furniture. My cat likes it here. I sleep in a comfy bed and am absolutely paranoid. I walk quietly and lock all the doors. I have no gun and feel very vulnerable. It is hard going to sleep at night because there are noises I do not recognize. If I were a badass I would not be so scared. This sort of fear is worse than climbing scared because it is not a fear that is diminished by endangerment, like purposely taking a whipper, it is a fear based on worry and suspicion. Wish I had that .45 under my pillow. Night sights would be nice too.

Brother Horse and the Trick he Played

Long ago before the creation of Horse Pens 40, Brother Horse was walking about the forest on a spring day and was so bored that he could hardly think of a single trick to play, that was until he noticed Brother Bear taking a nap by a minnow hole. Brother Horse suddenly got an excellent but cruel idea and began gathering materials for his next infamous prank. (You see little do today's young folks know that Brother Bear once had a luxurious and beautiful tail, that is, until Brother Horse performed his evilest prank.) So, while Brother Bear was napping, Brother Horse gathered up the forest's biggest beehive with the branches of a hemlock tree and slowly dragged it to the hill above the minnow hole. Once Brother Horse was in position, he grabbed the hemlock branches and he threw the beehive down the hill and it landed smack on Brother Bear's beautiful tail, breaking the hive open and spilling the honey and the bees all over Brother Bear. Brother Bear was completely startled and panic stricken that that he tried to dash to the minnow hole but on the the way his tail became stuck in between two rocks. Brother Bear struggled so hard to get away from the very angry bees that he ripped his tail clean off and tripped right into the minnow hole. Brother Bear caused such a stir around the minnow hole that all the near by animals came to see what was going on, only to find Brother Bear totally drenched and Brother Horse laughing so hard that his hooves almost fell off. All the Brothers and Sisters of the forest laughed so much that Brother Bear vowed never to befriend any of them ever again. To this day the bear lives a solitary life and the minnows always hide at any disturbance.

An Admission

These are the things I should work on: 1. I should stop smoking 2. I need to seriously train for climbing instead of dicking around the gym and making fruitless attempts to climb things that I clearly cannot climb. 3. I need to start taking a yoga class 4. I should put away more money in my savings 5. I need to go swimming a least twice a week 6. I have to truly commit to my decision not to go to law school and start the application process to attain a biology or physical science degree. 7. I need to switch birth-control so I don't blow someones fucking brains out in traffic or rip the fuck out of some one's asshole when they are acting like a stupid ass rock jock. 8. I should stop cussing so much 9. I need to start processing myself and discuss the more traumatizing events of my life with people 10. I should take a golf club and break everything in sight so I have an excuse to declutter 11. I have to finish my goal of climbing 100 new problems at the Bald before the end of the season.

February and Self Loathing

I hate February. It seems like everything that has ever bothered me, my whole life is suddenly stepping on my heart and strangling tears from my eyes. Perhaps it is merely winter time depression or just the simple fact that every year February is the time when a majority of bad things happen to me. (Example: Rumbling Bald, hurting my wrist, and getting bit for the first time by a pony.) I hate February. Someone advised that I should work on self improvement rather than being caught up on the external matters of life but honestly, wouldn't that course of action simply be an admission to the fact that I am not perfect? I hate February.