Red Tape

The past two days I have felt a knot in my chest.  It feels as if the whole world is against me.  I am trying to start a climbing team for my school and it seems like the odds are stacked against me.  There is so much red tape that I fear my perseverance will be in vain and I will fail at this task.  Also, I had a strange social interaction yesterday that has left a sour taste in my mouth and I find that even my most simple of objectives are being held up by obstacles in my path, namely other people.  I hope that by continuing on this path that I am endowed with the strength and the knowledge to overcome these obstacles and eventually surpass even my own personal expectations.  Now, to walk forward.

Mating Call.

Spring fever has infected everyone.  Even myself.  It has been a rough couple of weeks due to the readjusting that I have had to do since my break up.  Honestly, I do miss my ex although he did not treat me very well but most importantly I miss the sex.  We had great sex, in fact it is the best sex I have ever had so far.  We were together for a year and a half and so you get used to having great sex and then when your suddenly without great sex, you just feel like crap.  Plain and simple.  The funny thing about it was that I was very close to sending him an email and asking him if he wanted to have sex with me with me but then I was downtown and I ran into some mutual acquaintances and they were acting kind of strange towards me.  I flat out asked them what was wrong and they claimed that my ex had told people that I was psycho and so he had to change his cell phone number because I kept calling him.  So I had to waste 15 infuriating minutes of my life explaining to them that I have not spoken to him since we broke up and how I specifically wrote him a letter that clearly stated that I never wished to speak to him again.  Not only was I caught totally off guard by this but it also ruled out any possibility of me asking him to sleep with me.  To be perfectly honest, it really hurt my feelings.  Not only was he a total asshole to me during the duration of our relationship, by constantly walking out on me and being a manipulative cock sucker, but he also has to be an asshole to me when we are not even sleeping together!  Overall, it was just painful weekend.  To make matters worse I've been looking at cock pictures on craigslist and I have been watching too much YouPorn.  I'm surprised I don't leave a fucking slug trail everywhere I go.  Talk about being sexually frustrated.  It has been so challenging that I have actually considered smoking cigarettes again just to take my mind off sex.  UHHHHH!  It makes me so pissed off because these guys that keep bothering me are just not good enough for me and so having a rebound is out of the question.  At least not until I find someone that is worthy of my time.  I'm not talking about some pasty ass 90 lbs weakling.  I'm talking about some fine ass bitch with a good tan from working outside, big rough hands, and...  you get the picture.  That bitch better get me off too because I fucking deserve it.    

Today was a tough day

The past can be so haunting. 

A Single Pirate Life for Me

Being single in the spring time is scary.  I don't know what happened to men but lately they have been shameless towards me.  I've been asked out almost everywhere I go.  The grocery store, the gas station, the gym, Walmart.  But it is not so much the simple act of being asked out but they manner in how they go about it.  Just being abruptly asked out without any sort of signal on my part.  It is flattering but I know better than to go out with someone that is not the least bit afraid of me.  They should be scared and if they are not then something is wrong with them.  Plain and Simple. 

Climbing with a Green Eyed Monster

Here in North Carolina the year around climbers are beginning to make their transition from bouldering season to rope season.  We begin to contemplate those first intensely terrifying leads and the falls soon to follow.  But some of us are lucky enough to complete the projects of the season.  I, unfortunately, have not been so lucky.  It seems the tick list has only gotten longer and those intermediate sends are still months away.  All the while my fellow climbers get to spray about their latest conquests on Facebook and I of course have to say something positive about it. Nothing like the short but sweet "like" button.  But do I really like it?  Fuck No.  I'm jealous as a preening peacock and I'm not sure if I'm fine with that.  It is said that once you harness the roots of jealously, you will not only be able to control the energy that you put into it but you will also be able to actually attain what you truly desire.  In the mean time I suppose I will be hitting the "like" button a few more times.