Weighting the New System

Looking at myself in the mirror I see that my breasts have gotten saggy, my teeth are not as white as they used to be and my new hair cut looks like my other hair cuts but shorter. I am stuck in my ways and it was obvious this Saturday when I went to tackle one of my projects, the Indirect to the Glass Menagerie. Throw in a daisy chain and the idea of hanging on and cleaning cordilet and I freaked the fuck out and bailed out. Luckily it started raining but it just made me feel bitter, not to mention the boyfriend that I should no longer be climbing with made me feel even worse about bailing. As we sat there, out of the rain by Invisible Airways, I thought to myself, "I have gotten in over my head." I knew I could climb that climb, there was never an issue of whether or not I would be strong enough but my head got in my way. Seeing my buddy dislocate is knee could not be the only reason why I have reverted back to a big scaredy cat, could it? But there are other issues like the fact that if any new variables are added to the equation, like the daisy chain and the fucking cordilet, I cannot concentrate on climbing because I am so worried about fucking up the system. Seeing your climbing grade cordilet snap while your swinging in a hammock should not be enough to make you stop climbing, right? I should have trusted that my partner would not put me in danger but that is not what my mind was saying to me while I was up there, below the first bolt. "You are going to forget how to use this new system and you are going to fall." It looks like I have to start from square one and start climbing 5.6 so I can build confidence in myself and different systems. Its not bouldering season yet.