Ode to the Sandbagger

Main Entry: 2sandbag Function: verb Date: 1860 transitive verb 1: to bank, stop up, or weight with sandbags2 a: to hit or stun with or as if with a sandbag b: to treat unfairly or harshly c: to coerce by crude means sandbagging the government — C. W. Ferguson> d: to conceal or misrepresent one's true position, potential, or intent especially in order to take advantage ofintransitive verb: to hide the truth about oneself so as to gain an advantage over another — sand·bag·ger noun (Source: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sandbagger 12 December 2008) Have some honor. It is embarrassing to hear what people say about you. You accomplish nothing by this and only bring shame to us all. It is one thing to downgrade a climb, or to sandbag it, but to be deceptive about your abilities in order to win, although nothing new, is disgusting. How selfish it is to hog the limelight because your pathetic prissy ass ego cannot handle defeat. Like I said I am not the first person to see this, in fact it is common knowledge. Also, if a problem was graded a V5 and no holds broke off or were somehow added, then it is still a fucking V5. We all know it.

Funny

http://www.hulu.com/watch/40968/saturday-night-live-digital-short-ras-trent

Pretend

Pretend that we are dearest friends, that we would risk our own for each other. Share our successes and hold true to our words. Promises may go unfulfilled but not forgotten. It is obvious. There is little to remember.

Good God Get Your Fatass Shopping Cart Out of My Way!

So. You know who you are... you know, those fucks that decide "I must X-Mas shop right now so YOU do not exist." We have all been there, trying to pick up some things for dinner and then wham this fatass that should have never left the house is suddenly in your way because they think their dearly beloved must have a new set of floor mats for their gas hoggin SUV and all the while taking up the whole isle in case someone decides, "Hey, my dearly beloved needs floor mats too." God, and women are the worse because when you go shopping they eyeball you with this look of utter hate and for no good reason either. Perhaps I am mistaking this look and it is really the true, non computer generated look of stress because they know deep down inside that none of the things they buy for other people really is not good enough and will not make anyone truly happy. Except me because I like the shiny gift wrapping... none of that Santa Claus crap but the sparkly and glittery gift wrap. Damnit

A Story of RockTown

Once when the lower mountains and plains were covered with Water there lived a people of such greatness that the Great Spirit himself blessed them with his presence on many occasions. These people called themselves the Atalis and lived close by the Water on a sandy shelf called Ownrok or where present day RockTown is now located. The Atalis loved music, art, theater, and all the arts of the Earth so the Great Spirit called on them for entertainment and food when his brothers and sisters would visit from the other Universes. The Atalis were master builders and had such an eye for arcutectur that their public spaces and homes blended with the natural environment so well, the four leggers themselves could not tell where the village began. Atalis' were the best athletes and they had the fastest runners, swiftest swimmers, most cunning hunters, and the strongest wrestlers of the world. It was often said among the less favored tribes that the Atalis were a match for the god's themselves and it was said so often that the Dark Lord overheard. The Dark Lord, always wishing to destroy what he secretly envied, could not help but to formulate a plot to humiliate the Great Spirit and ruin the Atalis forever so when the Great Spirit's sister, Eternity, came to Earth the Dark Lord saw the perfect opportunity. The Dark Lord disguised himself as a beautiful women and joined the celebration for the Great Spirit and Eternity at Ownrok. The Dark Lord mingled with the crowd and caught the eye of every Atalian man in Ownrok and even managed to grab the attention of the Great Spirit himself, who was in a very lustful mood. The Great Spirit invited the young beauty to sit next to him and drink his wine. And drink they did, of course, the Dark Lord used some slight of hand so even the Great Spirit had trouble keeping up with this young woman but that did not stop him from trying. In a few hours the Great Spirit was totally drunk and with the wine nearly gone and the celebration almost complete, the Dark Lord began to talk about how strong and mighty the Atalis were and how there was not a god in heaven that could beat an Atalis. This had the desired affect on the Great Spirit and he became so enraged with his own pride that called forth the strongest wrestler for a match right then and there. The Great Spirit entered the ring and ordered the sober wrestler to put up his best fight. The Great Spirit put forth a valiant effort but was so drunk he easily fell and was pinned by the mighty Atalian. The Great Spirit decided that perhaps wrestling was not his best sport so he called forth the fastest runner and challenged her to a race through the forest. Again the Great Spirit tried his best but because of his consumption he could not stop stumbling so he lost once more to a lean Atalian. The Great Spirit was nearly at a loss, when the Dark Lord suggested, in his womanly attire, to challenge the swiftest swimmer to a race. So the Great Spirit called forth the swiftest swimmer and ordered him to get ready for the swim of his life. While the Atalian swimmer was warming up the Great Spirit was trying to undress from his bulky furs on the shore and that is when the nearby Dark Lord tripped the Great Spirit, who fell into the water while his fur was over his eyes. This took the large audience by surprise, for they did not see what the beautiful woman had done, and they all fell into raucous laughter. The Great Spirit, still drunk, became so angry that he called forth the Water and destroyed the Atalis and ruined Ownrok. Eternity, who had watched the whole thing, was so ashamed by her brother's actions, she vowed never to return to Earth again. To this day you can see the remains of the buildings and homes of the Atalis and it is a somber reminder that it is never a choice to win when competing with the gods.

A Story of the First Romance

Before the brothers and sisters of the earth were created, there was only the elements and among these elements was Father Stone, for his true name was and still is long forgotten. Father Stone broke free from his mother when, the great liberator, Water first washed through the valleys, down the mountains, into the plains, and through the hollows. The Great Spirt was pleased by this and allowed Stone and Water to make their homes where ever they saw fit. Stone, seeing his power and knowing his purpose, picked places of great stability and natural wealth for his rest. But one day when his task was almost complete, Father Stone, noticed up above him the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, The Great Mother, ruler of the Sky. Father Stone fell instantly in love with the Great Mother and began to create great mountains, pillars, and stackings of Rock in order to reach is love. He called forth the volcanoes in order to help him in his quest to reach the Great Mother but the volcano's eruptions caused such a stir and warmed the air to such a degree that the Great Mother could not help but to notice. She came down from the sky to the site where Father Stone had been creating and simply confronted Father Stone on what he was doing and of course Father Stone told the Great Mother of his love and how he wanted his Rock to touch her Sky and how he wanted to become entangled in her clouds, etc. etc... The Great Mother was so moved by his love that she and Father Stone soon began a love affair of such passion and heated love making that there was not a day that passed where The Great Mother and Father Stone were not together. This did not go un-noticed and The Great Spirit became so enraged and jealous that the Great Mother did not show him the same affection, he decided to take action and cast a great spell that froze Father Stone for all seasons of light. (In fact, you can still see Father Stone waiting for the Great Mother at a place called Chimney Rock.) The Great Mother was so upset by the Great Spirit's actions that she never spoke to him again. Sometimes she longs for her lover so overwhelmingly that she wills her clouds around Father Stone's creations and kisses the mountains for years, days, or hours on end wishing for his return.

The Ad

I am going to put up an ad on Craigslist for a new family. Hopefully I will have one by Christmas so I will not have to suffer through another, "Hey, you really don't matter but here are some gifts that were really just another chore to get" year. Perhaps this new family will invite me on vacation or would make me dinner. I don't see who wouldn't want a well mannered, intelligent, and ambitious 24 year old perspective law student added to their family... well perhaps mine wouldn't but I'm sure there has to be other people out there willing to let someone become a member of their family with no hesitation. It is no exaggeration and there is no excuse besides pure selfishness. If wanting people to truly care about you, send you a fucking birthday card and be willing to share what they have equally with you is selfish then put me in that basket too, we can all go to hell together.